Let's talk about Tebow. I love that Florida haters have nicknamed him "Baby Jesus." It's just so appropriate given that everyone regards him as if he's the second coming. Too bad he's nothing more than the football version of Tyler Hansborough. He'll run right into traffic and try to win by being more psycho than the other players on the field. Sure, that shit works in college. Take the same approach in the NFL and get knocked the fuck out. 6'3" 250lbs guys who run 4.5s get routinely cut in the pros. Maybe he'll get a shot at tight end, but I'm doubtful he can catch or block. Is he any better than Tommy Frazier? Marques Tuiasosopo?
Check out the Beyonce video with Lady Gaga. White girl needs to keep her disguises on at all times. You need to play a disclaimer before exposing that face on national television. If you drunkenly end up fucking her in the dark, you'd better set an alarm and wake your ass up early to avoid a glimpse of her in the morning. Like one of my boys always says to me "visage de merde."
Haven't seen a new F word in a while, but you should check out some back episodes when you get a chance. Americans only know Gordon Ramsay from Hell's Kitchen and maybe a few episodes of Kitchen Nightmares, typical reality television drivel. Watch the F word and you'll realize how crappy the food shows are in the US. Don't mistakenly watch the L word instead. Not the same. NOT THE SAME.
How could 2009 not be noteworthy, you argue, we got Obama. Obama. Yawn. Don't get me wrong, I think he's been doing a passable job as president, but since I saw him for the first time speaking at the 2004 convention and discovered that he isn't white, I've been over the whole black thing. Harping on the Obamas being black is like harping on how well Colin Powell speaks. Here's an unintentional dig on how significant the president's skin color should be, courtesy of young jeezy: "My president is black, my lambo is blue..."
Obama visited China and the common Chinese folks were disappointed with his trip. When interviewed, they said they were expecting him to be jogging on the streets, playing pickup ball, and doing other mundane things to endear himself to the people. I don't know about you, but Obama comes over and smokes up at least once a week. We shoot the shit for a few hours, play some Wii golf. Fucking idiots.
And quick thought about the Obama runs that everyone in DC's been trying to get invited to. Supposedly, the participants include ex-overseas pros and D1 players. That being the case, what is Obama doing in these games? He played high school ball in Hawaii and is what, 6'1"-6'2"? Plus, he's in sweats. He may be the president, but he brings it to the hole, it's your duty to remind him to get that weak shit out of there.
What's happened to Jay-Z's flow? RZA once stated that Jay was always known in NYC circles for being able to spit fast with clarity. Now, although the enunciation remains, the flow is choppy. And the rhymes are awkward. He's discovered a new vocabulary since becoming rich and he finds it necessary to throw in a word or two here or there to show us that he's aware. You're slipping, Mr. Fierce.
Is the decade ending? I always thought groups of ten run from 1-10, as in 2001-2010. Keep seeing and hearing shit about the best and worst of the decade. People are so desparate for something to validate their lives that they feel compelled to compartmentalize things into bullshit categories so that they can present them to others and forcefully debate them. All these callers to NPR labeling this the worst decade they can remember. Yeah, that's 'cause your ass can't remember when times were really bad. Let's put you back into the '40s and have you be Japanese, German or a European Jew. Try telling one of the survivors about how terrible your decade was.
Morgan Freeman as Nelson Mandela. Did you hear that he was on the top of a long list? They also auditioned Bill Cosby, Samuel L Jackson, Danny Glover, Sidney Poitier, and --insert black actor with appropriate height here--. If I stood on the street and asked people to guess who was being cast to play Nelson Mandela, I guarantee I'd get Morgan Freeman 100 of 100 guesses. Obviously, originality was not in the thought process. What, you couldn't find a suitable black actor in all of South Africa?
Bone marrow is on everyone's menu nowadays. I had a side of marrow to go with my ribs the other day at Applebee's. Have you tried the marrow waffles at Waffle House? But seriously, I have to question whether people who are ordering marrow actually enjoy eating it. In fact, offal has become so trendy, but I'd guess that most diners are ordering it to act like they're in the know or to fulfill a dare. I won't lie, I ate a lot of offal growing up. Chitlins, pork ears, pork kidneys, pork blood, chicken gizzard (mmmm chicken gizzard), beef tripe, etc. Guarantee you these are not on the list of Stuff White People Like. Well, at least not those type of white folks.
Aren't you proud of Tiger Woods getting his fuck on? If you's a blonde chick gettin' your fuck on tonight, I'll be dat, I'll be dat. Aaron McGruder summed it up perfectly in the Sunday strip of March 2, 2003. "So what do you think, Caesar? What's the secret to happiness?" Huey asks. "White women?" Caesar replies.
When is Sean Kingston going to eat Iyaz for trying to claim his bubble gum Jamaican pop style? Wait 'til Jamie Foxx gets ahold of it.
Another exceptional hook by 50
Kelly Rowland, keeping up the video ho tradition started by Beyonce.
Does this violate some kind of copyright? These are my favorite photos of this year:
